I had the unfortunate experience just over a week ago, of losing my Grandfather to the infamous, Covid-19. Times have been hard. School has been the least of my worries. Projects and papers have been procrastinated long past due. Nights have been long and restless. Tears have been shed. But, in the grand scheme of it all, life moves on. One life is lost so another can take its place. Just like how Hamm thought of the cyclical world in Endgame.
The inspiration for this picture came after reading up on Endgame and watching lots of Youtube clips. For starters, I knew of a man who lived his life in a “wheeled” chair. So that was an easy fit. But, then as I started to learn more and more about Hamm, the more he turned out to be my Grandpa. The thing that got me laughing the most was both of their need to be in the center of the room. Wherever my grandpa went, he had to be in the center. Another thing was the need for routine. My Grandpa always had his routine. If he was able to complete it each day, he knew that he was alive and well.
Now, as for some deeper concepts. Let’s talk about isolation. Endgame was a play about isolation and the detriments that it brought into one’s mind and life. How does one cope with isolation? Is isolation even considered life? The idea of the absurd definitely takes place here. This is the main reason why I decided to paint the picture I did. My Grandpa lived an isolated life. Sure his views on things were positive, once upon a time. But all alone, the mind can go to darkness really fast. My Dad acted as a Clov to my Grandpa. Always taking care of him, bringing him to the “light.” Then one day, the routines stopped. The hesitation of reconciling death had ceased. Both men, my Dad and Grandpa, said their thanks and parted ways. Unfortunately, there was never a return.
So, whether or not this write up does a good job at making the connection between Endgame and my Grandpa, one thing is for certain; even though my Grandpa passed away, he will always live on.
Thank you, Jake, for expressing the similarities between Beckett's play and your life. It makes Hamm seem less menacing and certainly more isolated. The inability to rationalize the experience of moving via wheel chair or needing someone else for basic care has inhibited my perceptions of Hamm up to now. So, thank you for realizing a unique aspect of Hamm's character which translates also to his parents, stuck in trashcans.
Good luck, Jake; thank you for writing your story.
COVID-19 has touched us all, altering our lives in ways that we had never imagined. I am so sorry that in your case, Jake, the changes included losing your grandpa. The painting of him in his wheelchair is striking, especially next to the actual photo of this man who lived in a wheeled chair and wanted to be in the center of the room.
I’m struck by the decorations in your grandpa’s room: the flowers, the books, the signs reading “welcome” and “love.” Your painting doesn’t reproduce the words, but it does include the flowers and the heart. All of these parts of the room are a clear sign of a life lived without the desolation of Hamm’s room. And…
Hi Jake,
I am so, so sorry for your loss. <3 I commend you for doing this assignment when there have obviously been much heavier things weighing on you. I think you drew some really fascinating parallels between your grandfather/father and Hamm/Clov, and your grandfather was really lucky to have you guys caring for him.
Take care of you and yours. Sending good vibes your way,
-Niah